To New Beginings
by NJ McRiley
Summary: Lily has made some horrible mistakes recently. Will she be able to change the way things have turned out? J/L


**AN: This is just something if found in an old notebook when I was cleaning my room… circa 2006… I was re-reading it and remembered how much I really liked it… I hope you enjoy it as much as I did!**

Lily turned her head away from James' questioning stare. His hand was still in the air in the same position from when it was under Lily's chin. He had been forcing her to look at him.

"Lily, I need to know now… are my attempts in vein? Are you ever going to love me the way I love you?" James voice quavered. Lily couldn't feel his stare on her face anymore.

"I don't… I'm not… I…" Lily couldn't find the words.

"I see…" James said emotionlessly. He momentarily looked her in the eyes before looking everywhere but at her. He opened his mouth to speak but then closed it. James nodded curtly before turning to walk away.

"James, please. Wait!" Lily called after him.

"No Lily." He replied.

"James, please! James! James… James…" she called after him. James turned down another corridor without looking back. "James…" Lily cried, barely above a whisper. She leaned against the near by wall then slid down it.

"James, what did I just do?" she sobbed into her knees. " James… I am so sorry… I didn't mean for this to happen… I love you…"

'_It's too late to tell this to him,_ _you've broken his heart for the last time.' _Sirius' voice sounded in her head.

"Leave me alone…" she said out loud before blocking him out of her mind using occlumency. Lily wiped her eyes and stood up. Today was her last here at Hogwarts and she wasn't about to spend the day crying—even if it was over her best friend.

Lily walked back to the heads common room to prepare for the ceremonies this afternoon. When she walked into the room she saw James sitting in his armchair, staring into the empty fireplace.

"James…" she started, but stopped when she saw a single tear escape his eyes and roll down his now blotchy cheek. Lily could tell he had been crying for the past few minutes. She walked over to him and crouched down so she was eye level with him. He looked her straight in the eyes.

"James," she started over again.

"Lily." He replied.

"I am so sorry… I just hope that one day you will forgive me and we can be friends again." She searched his face for some sort of answer. His response definitely wasn't what she had been looking for.

"I am sorry too, because I don't think that that will ever happen. You see, I have put my heart out on the line for you, and what did you do? You threw it into the rubbish! I… I don't even want to be talking to you right now. Lily, please, just go. Please. Let me be at peace." The last part was barely a whisper.

"If that's what you want. Goodbye James Potter. It's been nice knowing you." Tears were filling her eyes, threatening to flow over. Lily stood and walked to her room and silently closed the door behind her. Refusing to let her tears spill over, she moved to her vanity and picked up a tissue. After gently dabbing her eyes, she looked around. She still had two hours before the ceremonies, and she had a lot to think about.

* * *

James sat in his armchair. He was too numb to do anything let alone think. The past few summer's worth of work towards building a friendship was gone. He had been her friend when no one else would be. They had grown so close; he had been so sure that she loved him too. Apparently he had had the wool pulled over his eyes.

The door to the common room opened and James briefly glance up. Sirius and Remus entered the room and walked over to James.

"How are you doing James?" Remus questioned.

"I don't know… I just cant believe she doesn't love me… I was just so sure…" He said, still looking at the fireplace.

"What are you gonna do now? You cant just sit around moping all day." Sirius said, leaning back in a chair.

"I know… I need to move on… but it just seems too soon…" James sighed.

"Too soon? James you are acting as if you guys had been dating. You guys weren't, might I add." Remus exclaimed.

"You're right… we weren't even dating. I am letting her get the best of me. No more. The old James is back and tonight in celebration of graduation. I am going to do something I haven't done in nearly a year. I am going to get drunk and snog a girl senseless!" James said, jumping to his feet.

"Nice! Good plan!" Sirius said excitedly as Remus rolled his eyes.

"Come on, let's get ready for the ceremonies." James said and they all got up and left the room.

* * *

_I'm too late…_ Lily thought as she sat at her desk. Papers were thrown haphazardly across it. One of the papers caught her eye. She studied it closely before frantically writing on it.

**One Hour Later**

Lily and James sat at the front of the Great Hall along with Dumbledore and the professors. The hall was filled nearly to the full with seventh years and their families. The last few notes of the school song were still resounding through the hall. Dumbledore stood before the class at the podium, preparing to introduce the first speaker.

"Now, ladies and gentlemen, our first speaker has proven her worth both academically and socially. She is not only Head Girl but also this year's valedictorian. Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you Miss Lily M. Evans." The crowed applauded as Lily walked to the podium. Lily smiled broadly at the crowd.

"Good afternoon," Lily began, "Seven years ago I first learned about the magical world. Hogwarts has given me so many memories. It was here that I received my first kiss from none other than Hogwarts residential player, Sirius Black. I had my broken heart here. The first best friends I had were here. But, of course, not all of my memories are fond one. I will never forget the day that Gryffindor lost the quidditch cup to Ravenclaw. Also for the first time in my life I felt a true hatred. I felt what it is like to be discriminated against because I was born into a muggle family. Luckily I was able to over-come all of the taunting and name-calling and soon rose to the top of the class."

"The lessons I have learned here I will never forget. The most important of the lessons I have learned is to not let love pass you by. You see today I lied to someone who is very important to me. I told James Potter that I don't think I could ever love him. I realize what a huge mistake I have made. I just want to say now, in front of everyone that James," She looked back towards him to find him staring right back at her, "I love you. I don't know what made me tell you different, but I truly, deeply love you. I am so sorry and I hope you forgive me."

"And I want to tell all of you," Lily said, turning back around toward the audience, "Never forget your memories and friends from here. They will get you through the hard times ahead. Thank you and congratulations." Lily walked back to her seat.

By the time Lily reached her chair James had stood up. She paused in front of him. They looked at each other, neither of them moving. Suddenly James grabbed Lily by the waist and pulled her into a long, deep kiss. The kiss caught Lily off guard but soon she found herself melting into it. The audience cheered and applauded the new couple.

"Well, I am positive that now of the other speakers will be that enjoyable." Sirius whispered to Remus, who nodded in response. James and Lily sat down, holding hands. James looked to Sirius, who gave him two thumbs up.

* * *

**Later that night. **

**Three Broomsticks**

Remus and Sirius sat at the bar, drinking their butterbeer and talking about the "good ole days," as Sirius liked to call it.

"Moony, remember when James didn't date Lily? I miss those days…" Sirius said with a sigh.

"Padfoot, it was only four hours ago. How can you possibly miss it already?" Remus rolled his eyes.

"Well, just look at them." He said glancing over his shoulder to look at the couple in the corner of the room. "They are disgusting! It's like he is going to eat her face off!"

Remus chuckled, "What did you expect? He has been wait for this for years. Plus, you have no room to speak. Whenever you snog a girl it is just as disgusting."

"Yeah, but I don't have to watch when I snog someone. But you are right, this is a well deserved moment for him." He looked back at them and laughed. "Well, at least he is doing something he swore to do tonight."

**AN: well that is it… hope you enjoyed! Please R&R!**


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